The Blacklist: Seriously Lizzie, When is Good enough, Enough?
Due to the fact getting married, We have had to help to increase my TELLY watching catalog. No longer could i subsist on Bravo along with E! by yourself. In hopes for accommodating very own husband’s tastes, there is now great parade regarding action characters, zombies, plus murderers (and that is just simply on the ordinary stations… do not get me commenced on the video channels). Among the shows that We’ve actually grown up to for example is NBC’s The Blacklist. Although not intended to be a show about shut down relationships, We would argue there are a variety of ethnical dynamics at play for each part. For now, This in detail skip the obvious daddy-issues concerning Red Reddington and Lizzie (who I have long believed to be his or her daughter). Things i find much more baffling is a relationship concerning Tom plus Lizzie.
For anyone unfamiliar with the particular storyline, Andrew and Lizzie Keen are married. Lizzie is a FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION Profiler along with, dating agency in an unusual twist, your girlfriend husband Ben is a hidden operative (i. e., the spy and also, when it satisfies him, killer). Needless to say, this unique couple has established a pretty tumultuous time because the revelation involving Tom’s valid identity. For you to my distress and uncomfortableness, during this time they also have repeatedly battled (both by speaking and physically). What I locate so perplexing is that, considering separating, William and Lizzie have continuing to gravitate back to one. Yep, even though his recurrent attempts to help kill your ex, Lizzie continues ending contingency plan in the fists and your bed of him / her estranged husband. (Just for an aside, their whole destructive actions are a 2-way street. Lizzie held Ben captive inside the hull of the abandoned deliver for over a number of months. Simply just your typical couple, finally. ) Just about every single episode When i find me personally asking, “Why do they continue to keep get back together?!? ”
As any self-respecting relationship researcher would can, I’ve jot down some hypotheses to explain this particular behavior:
Solution #1: Their valuable magnetism would be the result of all their large investment decision in the marriage. The Expenditure Model maintains that ongoing commitment into a relationship is the result of achievement, alternatives, and even investments. Consequently, the resources (e. g., effort, energy, money) partners get invested in the marriage, as well as the shown assets (e. g., property, pets, friends) they stand to lose via permanently splitting may keep them from building a quick get away. 1
Option #2: Their attraction may be the consequence of having no other options. Granted their chaotic schedules in addition to top-secret standards of living, Tom in addition to Lizzie can have difficulty obtaining suitable affectionate alternatives. (Who would want to have a bond with both of them? Their valuable frequency associated with life-threatening cases is far too high! ) Available solutions impact this dependence on a relationship, this also in turn, impacts our tenaciousness and went on commitment. With no need of better possibilities presenting by themselves, they may continue being reliant in upon each other to fulfill link needs, despite being normally dissatisfied with the relationship.
Option #3: The human trend to adopt familiarity could also explain their own draw to each other. Given most of their shared history and experience, either Tom as well as Lizzie probably feel very helpful to each other plus quite practically prefer “the devil they will know to the ultimate demon they don’t. ” Although switch can be positive and awesome, the mere-exposure phenomenon clarifies how tried-and-true experiences can be our choice, as practice often will cause increased choice. 2
As Dan and Lizzie demonstrate, the majority of the same connection dynamics effects one’s motivation, whether they are usually in a healthy or maybe abusive relationships. At first blush, investments and choices may appear for you to pale in comparison with one’s essential safety. non-etheless, research workers have shown such factors be central to one’s selection (and ability) to stay and go. 4
As I said before, it’s difficult to predict what to you suppose will happen with TV relationships, because they are subject to impacts that are distinctive from real life (e. g., totally focus groups). However , the unnerving tendency for that two addicts to stay mutually may have it has the roots in the shared require for connection, situation leading to commitment (particularly assets and alternatives), and ease with familiarity. For now, I can keep expecting that these a couple of find a way to stop each other so that I can retreat to focusing on the exact crime-solving element of the demonstrate.